Not Bad. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? My only talent is not being in a relationship. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. It can be good to just say it how it is. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) If I had a tail, I would wag it! No, waitIm actually plural. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I have been going through GOT in my work life. 76. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. Still, the ghosters ghost on. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Steven Wright (comedian). I'm afraid I can't do that. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. All rights reserved. Socioeconomically? When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. Usually, people live and learn. 37. Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." But it can be funny. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? In fact, theyre taking too much of it. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. 30. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. Does the new one work any better? However, I dont recall anything about morons. Take Your Time. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Are you flirting with me right now? As for me, I cant even afford honey! Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. 14. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" Keep calm and be awesome. Im not single. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. 6. Your hair looks great! It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? Hope you're well". Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. 8. 13. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. Youll go far someday. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. Because Im awkward and ugly. Liked what you just read? The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. 17. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. - Anonymous. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. . I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. 69. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. 9. 77. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. "I'm alright, mate". For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. 18. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. 95. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. 83. I'm happy! Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. I died last week, since then. Could Be Payday. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. 12. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Shane from The L Word? Finnish with this conversation! Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. 48. " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. 1. Im in a relationship with myself. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. That's boyfriend material. Reply. Could be payday. Financially? (This line came from the cartoon show. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. Are you Jamaican? Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. He sold it to me on his deathbed. Well, are you? I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Otherwise, we would still be with them today. 18. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Oh, stop it, will you? Hello, how are you? 85. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. but it's just so blunt and funny. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Not everybody may appreciate them. 10. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. You don't need to say it. For more information, please see our I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. 18. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? 75. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. Life is up to something. Have you been thinking? More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." 58. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). Spiritually? Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Feeling confident? I just adore my own company. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Maybe I am a kindergartner? I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. 11. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. In fact, they're taking too much of it. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. You might just find one. I suggest you do a little soul searching. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). I will leave that up to your imagination. I cant even afford to feed myself! Impressive! and our Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. I agree, thanks for sharing. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok Not sure why you're asking me my age. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! 36. Oh, what a long list. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. What should I doI like you too much. You look tired. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? 7. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. 4. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. 2. 5. 74. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Could have been worse, right. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! I'd rather answer to a 'What's your favorite "I'd rather die" response alternative' thread on reddit. Going strong. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. Dave Barry (author). I'm glad to know that you're alive.".
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