Guilt commingled with a sense of peace when he signed the letter: "I'm sorry. She carried a notepad everywhere and wrote down messages and questions from family and friends. Between the good days and the bad, most end up about the same. He held his head, tried to stem the bleeding. He slipped and smacked his head on the handle, square on the entry wound. NOTE: This story was originally published on Feb. 2, 2021. Alexander introduced him. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide or is in emotional distress, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. He called Daiana a few times in early April, according to ABC7, saying, I think Im done. It continued across the orbital wall and through the ethmoid sinuses, the hollow areas around the nose. When Drew reached out, she was straightforward and to the point. He grabbed the microphone. Drew got two at-bats in the Rangers' third game. She reached out to Drews closest family and pals, asking them to send a video of anything they would like to say to Drew. Diana is the fiance of Drew Robinson. "It's not something that you just achieve. Wikipedia Of Daiana Anguelova For the past three months, Drew had taken every swing indoors. That wasn't what Drew will remember most about that night. And that's one of those clichs that I used to always hate -- things will happen for a reason, you'll end up where you're supposed to be. She said yes, and so they set up a wedding date. "No one understands how I made it through," he says. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide or is in emotional distress, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. He returned on March 31, played three games, then was sent back down. Rolls Royce Umbrella - Rolls Royce Umbrella Idea Replaced With Flashlight In A Truck Flashlight - Fashion, home & garden, electronics, motors, collectibles & arts. But they got back together again and thrived ever since. How? Sign Up. The Rangers summoned him again July 7, and he remained with the team for the rest of the season, hitting .224/.319/.439 with six home runs and playing six positions. He plays with his goldendoodle, Ellie. Emotion isn't a weakness; it is a gift. He couldn't let the companion in, not now. Even now, with regular therapy and medication to help stave off depression, Drew's brain sets traps. Inside Josh Duggar's lonely 35th birthday in prison solitary confinement, Today's Hoda Kotb looks solemn on stroll with daughter amid show absence, Jill Duggar reveals she's 'so proud' of husband's major career change in new pic, 1000-lb Sisters fans nearly break down in tears over Tammy major milestone, 2020 THE SUN, US, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED | TERMS OF USE | PRIVACY | YOUR AD CHOICES | SITEMAP, San Francisco Giantsis back in the game after battling a bout of depression, Drew Robinson and fiance Daiana Anguelova, Red Sox baseball star Christian Vazquez gives eye injury update which nearly left him blinded. You don't get to enjoy these things.'". News Group Newspapers Limited in England No. "I hope eventually that you guys will realize that no one could've seen this coming to prevent it because of how hard I try to hide it," he wrote, "and that it's no one else's fault.". They wondered whether Drew had hurt himself. He decided to shower. He occasionally works at a construction site with Darryl or drives Postmates to scratch together some extra cash and occupy his time. The ball snuck over the fence. But talking wasn't their thing. He returned March 30 to pick it up. She thought they were going to get married, and just like that, it was over. "This opportunity wasn't just given to Drew," Zaidi says. The couple was no longer together after a devastating . Drew grew more depressed. There was another. "And that," Chad says, "is when I realized how strong he really is.". What's the Dodgers' plan at shortstop? Then to the garage for a morning workout. There was something magnetic about Drew, even if it wasn't an obvious match. Between the errors there and the consistent swings and misses -- Drew had struck out 102 times in his 100 major league games, so that was nothing new -- skepticism crept in. He texted with Kapler, the manager, and Zaidi, the baseball operations president, and Harris, the GM. They just lived, one day to the next. The videos reminded Drew of just how incredible it is that he was here, alive, let alone here at spring training. Neither spoke much. But there were moments he failed. The ones who knew him best and still couldn't see the sadness suffocating him. drew robinson daiana anguelova general hospital spoilers next 2 weeks ahead. Have a light moment. Reflectively, through the written word. His frustration with himself multiplied. But they're clichs for a reason. He reassured her that this wasn't her fault. No way. Chad didn't understand. He spoke with Elkins and her husband, and as he walked away, a trainer for Sacramento asked who that was. Antiques Roadshow guest snaps at expert amid valuation Shouldnt have brought them here!, Love Islands Danica turns her attention to Davide and tells him hes on her radar, Proud gran of BGT winner Lost Voice Guy hails comedian as the "Yes I can" man, Jodie Turner-Smith and Joshua Jackson treat themselves to new car before baby, School in Americas wealthiest county infecting kids with race lessons as parents launch war on woke, Who is Drew Robinson's girlfriend Daiana Anguelova? After two years of dating the couple split up. fbq('track', "PageView"); Two days earlier, Drew had spent hours in a chair at Chao's office as she stared at his left eye and used oil paints and fine brushes to replicate its colors on the prosthesis. "And that caused a lot of stress and internal struggles. She borrowed an industrial carpet cleaner from her office. "If it doesn't work out, I just know that I'll be OK. And that's really all it is -- kind of believing in that simplicity of, things are going to work out how they're supposed to no matter what. Drew could see the distress on their faces. Drew Robinson, who lost his right eye in a suicide attempt in 2020, has made the opening day roster for the San Francisco Giants' Triple-A affiliate, the Sacramento River Cats, and could play as . The reason, Drew says, is because "I was supposed to tell a story," and not just the story of what happened. Positions: Outfielder, Third Baseman and Second Baseman Bats: Left Throws: Right 6-1, 200lb (185cm, 90kg) Born: April 20, 1992 in Las Vegas, NV us. Don't mistake that for glorifying what he did. "I wanted to feel the power. Drew proposed to Daiana shortly after he joined the St Louis Cardinals in December 2018. He survived, and rather . I also don't want to be a charity case. She called a cousin with whom she's close. He arrived at Oracle Park on Sept. 9, the day California wildfires turned the sky orange. It's a place he hadn't been in so long, but he found that reacquainting himself with it also helped him reacclimate to a world that can be solitary and unforgiving. A few months after those first surgeries, on Sept. 3, Drew drove about 20 miles to his old neighborhood, near Magic Moment Lane, to visit Janet Chao, an ocularist who runs Prosthetics Advancement Lab. Why am I still here? He could be loud, bombastic, always trying to look and act cool. He called. It was that kind of night, the kind Drew had envisioned in all the hours spent in the gym in his garage and taking hacks in the cage and baking in the sun during workouts. He had spent the past month alone in his house, confined by the pandemic and quarantined in his own mind. He drove home. The couple was set to marry shortly after Drew proposed to Daiana, but the wedding was called off because Robinson attempted suicide. BASEBALL in- and outfielder Drew Robinson met his fiance Daiana Anguelova at Silverado High School, Las Vegas. He was so deep into his own world, the impossibility of his return, that he didn't notice the catcher and umpire had stepped away to allow the crowd to bathe him in even more cheers. Could this be a real possibility? Renee wore it until it fell apart. He still hadn't conquered his lack of depth perception. His family witnessed it all, and after the third game, he embraced Darryl, his father, a man of few words and, typically, fewer tears. It was a text, three words, from a friend who had played high school ball with him and Drew: "Is Drew OK?". On who would find him. Robinson met longterm best pal and on-and-off romantic partner Daiana Anguelova at Silverado High School, shortly before graduation. "First, I just want to say thank you for everything," Drew said. He sprang off his left leg and Superman'd his 6-foot-1, 200-pound frame and took a literal leap of faith, in front of the family that was there supporting him and the fans who were there in awe of him and the people streaming the game who were rooting for him. "I was so shocked. Wikipedia Of Daiana Anguelova Daiana was there. He wanted to see everything. This was not a line drive that was tumbling. She tried to empathize, rationalize. Drew is convinced that he's meant to do something. His family removed the plank of wood where the bullet had lodged and had it turned into a necklace for him. Why is this happening to me? He could toss it into the Grand Canyon or destroy it with an acetylene torch. Some were thinking of family or friends lost to suicide. That hit Chad hard. She said yes, and so they set up a wedding date. This time, he didn't share the good news with a three-word text. And to know that he felt even lower than what I got to -- I couldn't imagine being there. But even after he signed on with the San Francisco Giants in January 2020, his depression began to affect him and he called the wedding off. Drew spoke with friends and family, with his therapists. He was asking a mutual friend to sign his yearbook. Who is Drew Robinsons girlfriend Daiana Anguelova? "I was panicking," Drew says a day later. EVEN ON HIS worst days, when the pressure of being a major league baseball player felt like it was crushing him, Drew never showed his pain and anguish. The E60 documentary, "Alive: The Drew Robinson Story," premieres Thursday at 8 p.m. Wondering if I was judging it right. In reply, he said: "They're definitely not in the oil business. He called Daiana a few times in early April, according to ABC7, saying, I think Im done. We, AOL, are part of the Yahoo family of brands. Learn how to improve your self-care. Daiana's reminders were a salve. He called Daiana a few times in early April, according to ABC7, saying, I think Im done. She told Drew she would swing by his house to get them. We don't notice the short, small victories. He becomes drafted by way of the Texas Rangers within the fourth round of the 2010 major League Baseball Draft. She would give him something; he would return it. The team's farm director, Kyle Haines, summoned Drew off the field during batting practice. I couldn't take the dog because I was planning on killing myself.". Listen now. That's it. His family fights the thought that he might be doing it again. Daiana was there. They hear him say thank you for things that seemingly don't warrant gratitude. I am pushing it onto other people. ET on ESPN, and is available now on ESPN+. She said yes, and so they set up a wedding date. But their relationship did not blossom for some time. Daiana knew this side of him better than anyone. "I shot myself, but I killed my ego.". It's the same way in the opposite. Why can't it be something people are proud of? Shamed Stephen Bear 'broke behind bars' as star's company struck off before he's jailed for 21 months, Inside Jesy Nelson's heartbreaking new video with cheating, gaslighting and shocking scenes as she plays her mum, Victoria Beckham and Nicola Peltz play happy families as they pose together in Paris after 'feud', Radio star rushed to hospital after suffering brain haemorrhage, Peter Andre and wife Emily look stunning as they dress as 'opposites' on night out in London, Katie Price in new row with ex Kieran as they clash over daughters hair makeover, Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO). He understood he needed help. They found common ground in one place: the baseball field. Britney started to look up phone numbers of hazmat cleaners. He received a $198,000 signing bonus. She brought the scraps to a jeweler, who made her a sturdier version she still enjoys 20 years later. Who is Drew Robinson's girlfriend Daiana Anguelova? More cleanup for his family. If I can't even do enough to earn happiness, what's the point? She still loved Drew, regardless of how many times he broke her heart. "So anytime there was any little hint of me being not happy, she wanted to help. We're proud he's a Giant, and we're excited to see him compete for a job in camp.". With the help and encouragement of former Giant Hunter Pence, he meditates. Drew didn't have a good response to this one. Draft: Drafted by the Texas Rangers in the 4th round of the 2010 MLB June Amateur Draft from Silverado HS (Las Vegas, NV). A game rooted in failure and sodden with heartache. Towies Mario Falcone shows heartbreaking pic taken week before suicide bid, George Michaels ex Kenny Goss ends bitter war with singers family, Rihanna stuns in cornrows hairdo and sexy mini dress that flashes side boob, Towies Georgia Kousoulou reveals Tommy Mallet REAL name leaving fans shocked, Elon Musk to Billie Eilish, stars who live with superpowers from autism to ADHD. After Drew finished speaking, Dickerson pulled him aside. Thank you to a bad day, because it helps him better appreciate the good ones. The pain meds that made him woozy. The best pitcher in MLB? DREW ROBINSON GREW up on the outskirts of Las Vegas. The instinct that had pulled her toward him was right. But their relationship did not blossom for some time. Drew didnt want to be rude, so he wondered whether she wanted to write something. Drew Robinson started dating girlfriend Daiana Anguelova in 2013. Darryl called every day at 6 a.m. sharp, right as the nurses changed shifts, to see how he slept. It had accompanied him from childhood to adulthood. He has tried to balance his necessary optimism with the truth that he doesn't have an answer for everything -- that as rosy as he'd love his life to be, as often as he sees steps in the right direction, there will always be bad days. He turns on "Friends," makes breakfast and eats. This is Drew Robinson's fight. Just so open and honest about how he's feeling instead of me wondering what's going on.". And the phone call in which he asked Britney not to tell anyone. The Giants ended the shortstop experiment and stuck Drew in the outfield, where he was far more comfortable. She makes eyes for people without them. The second replaced the shattered bones. They'd made good pitches. The San Francisco Giants signed Drew to a non-guaranteed minor league contract on Jan. 6, 2020. So he dived. Lives in Sacramento, California. It was more than just trying to recapture his baseball glory. He ignored Chad's questions and kept repeating the same five words. After two years of dating the couple split up. It's a moment we were sure wouldn't happen.". '", Together, the Robinsons met with Dr. Shana Alexander, a clinical psychologist who is the Giants' employee assistance program director, for a family counseling session over Zoom. Drew woke up early and arrived at the complex at 6:40 a.m. Now, to live like Drew had, one day to the next, in a no-man's land where past, present and future blend into an existence aimless and unending, was no longer enough. Britney explained. Who would blame themselves. They reminded him that life and baseball need not be mutually exclusive. But they got back together again and thrived ever since. Maybe someone will want to keep it. "Are you ready to go in?" Drew met Daiana Anguelova at Silverado High School. More than anything, Drew wants to tell his story to help others recognize the awfulness of suicide. So they did. It happens, whether you've got one eye or two. Each saw the other open his arms. Who is Drew Robinsons girlfriend Daiana Anguelova? Her conviction emboldened him. While he was in the hospital, he had a similar conversation with Renee. I'm meant to be alive. He drank his water and his smoothie, meditated and journaled, played with Ellie and brought her to the ballpark. It's not some sanitized version where a man is saved and happily ever after is the outcome. "It was very special," says Drew's best friend, Daiana Anguelova, sitting with his mother, Renee Robinson, during Drew's first game with the River Cats. In 2011, in his second season, he batted .163 in low-A. Sin embargo, la cadena termin tras conocer a Daiana Anguelova. He never made it back. After two years of dating the couple split up. If you need to talk more, she told them, please call me. He would love baseball one day and loathe it the next. When he was 7, Drew went to Walmart to buy his mother a ring. He hated his life. It was another form of validation. His suicidal ideation intensified. The pain of a death by suicide or attempt is not limited to one person. Because of COVID-19 restrictions, no one could visit Drew at the hospital. "I feel like I have a lot more in the tank, so getting this opportunity to do this, it just feels so right. They want to hear it. And yet after the game, he was sanguine. He enlisted Justin Bour, the longtime major leaguer also in camp, to be his accountability partner and ensure his body language never sent the wrong message. MovieTak - Showbiz | News | Gossips | Reviews | Interviews, Aryan Khans Advocate Mispronounces Arbaaz Merchant As, Richa Chadha Expresses Her Emotion On Working With Beau Ali Fazal, Calls It A, Madonna Highlights Brave New World As Shes Ready To Party The, Sung Kang Talks #JusticeForHan and Deckard Shaws Redemption in Fast &, OMG! On the suicide note that Drew wrote, Daina was one of the five people that was mentioned whom he loved most. He also knows he is in a better place to handle it. "It's the first time he's ever said something like that. If I can't do the work, why would I deserve happiness? View our online Press Pack. Daiana didn't want to encumber him. He apologized -- to Daiana, Darryl, Renee, Britney and Chad, the five people he loved the most. DREW ROBINSON GREW up on the outskirts of Las Vegas, on a street called Magic Moment Lane. I'm really trying to focus on shortening that window of some bad self-talk that I fall into, getting back to a better, positive perspective and mindset.". He faced machines that threw curveballs and sliders, and he handled them fine. Her artistry was evident in every minute detail -- the tiny black fleck in his hazel iris, the ring of light brown that encircles his pupil. He was thirsty. Over the years, Darryl and Renee had learned to get along, so they sat together with Britney and Daiana, who wasn't going to miss this moment, even if she and Drew were no longer together. That doesn't mean the rest of your life is going to suck.". "Most people in this situation, when you tell them what happened, think, wow, that's great. He tried to be a good dad. He does not. Renee stayed behind. "I'm free now," he says. But their relationship did not blossom for some time. They want everything Drew says to be true, every smile to be real, every laugh to be genuine, every inspirational-poster-worthy chestnut to be rooted in reality and not another veneer. Greater Orlando. Not the exact situation or setting or environment, but I have proof that I can get through these things. Drew would have to navigate the harsh learning curve on his own. The first surgery was to save his right eyelid. "And I was able to do it to her on the phone because no one was around.". The Robinsons didn't talk about those sorts of things. "I wanted to feel it again," he says. So, too, did the excitement of what was coming: the one-year anniversary of his alive day. That single Tylenol pill -- was it some subconscious message that he wanted to heal? The process takes a few sessions: first to take an impression of the eye socket, then to use acrylic and shape the prosthesis, which isn't spherical but instead fits over the globe Myint implanted, like a colossal contact lens. "There's going to be a pretty big learning curve with this," Drew says. And here was a shot to left, fading quickly, and six strides into his pursuit, he realized he was going to need to fully lay out to steal a hit. The Rangers sent him down, brought him up, sent him down, brought him up. Drew proposed to Daiana . He loved them until the next one came along -- until he met Daiana Anguelova. He apologized. "I've had realizations happen these last 12 months that I've been through it before. Outside the new front door of his house, Renee paused. Robinson and his fiance Anguelova would marry on November 14, 2020. If he needed to talk, his best friend, Daiana Anguelova, was there. Is it even worth it? (via JeffPassan) Thirteen months after he lost his right eye in a suicide attempt, Drew Robinson 's home run on Tuesday night -- in the finale of the series in his hometown -- is just the latest miracle in his remarkable journey. Diana Anguelova. Daiana was there. , Liu lives in a crumbling village. Spiritually, through meditation. Before his first at-bat, Drew embraced his emotion and nerves and fear. It could hiss right by him and skip to the wall, lending a little more credence to those who can't see what he's doing for what it is: a miracle. He understands that antidepressant use is a treatment to balance his brain, the same way some people with diabetes regulate themselves with insulin. She couldn't keep the secret any longer. Britney broke down. With this one batting practice home run, he could reverse that trend. The companion's voice was unrelenting. Around 5 p.m., Drew felt a rush of adrenaline. In the background, Britney heard a nurse ask for his phone and wallet. When he looked in the mirror April 17, saw the hole in his head, realized his eyeball was in pieces and thought about baseball -- it wasn't fanciful. "I just felt like the world was ending," he says. Am I trying to survive? He saw her compassion -- Daiana brought food and water to parties to ensure her friends didn't get out-of-control drunk -- as weakness. "But again, I think that's what makes this all so real and so powerful and so authentic.". "I'm supposed to help people get through battles that don't seem winnable. The couple was set to marry shortly after Drew proposed to Daiana, but the wedding was called off because Robinson attempted suicide. He wanted them to forgive themselves. There wouldn't be any guaranteed money or a roster spot. He knows that there is a burgeoning mental health crisis in this country, that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that 11% of American adults surveyed in June considered suicide, that suicidal ideation among 18- to 24-year-olds was at 26%. He thought about Daiana, Darryl, Renee, Britney and Chad. He knows this is difficult to talk about. Every day now offers him a chance to help repair what has been broken. He told Darryl that he was good enough -- that he was everything Drew wanted in a dad. Drew made the Cardinals' big league roster out of spring training, but a week into the season, he was sent to Triple-A. Before he goes to bed, Drew pulls out his journal. Darryl was a mason, his hands calloused from decades of laying brick. Suicide-attempt survivors are at a significantly higher risk of future death by suicide. And, having cheated and snuck a glance at the River Cats' schedule, he knew what it meant: He would play his first regular-season game in nearly two years in, of all places, Las Vegas. And sometimes that's all it takes. And it's one that, since he shared his remarkable story of survival with ESPN in February -- 20 hours spent with a wound in his head trying to reconcile whether he wanted to live -- he has tried to share more widely. Drew Elliott Robinson was born on 20 April 1992 in Las Vegas, Nevada, United States. If Drew was going to help others -- not just those in his circle but every struggling soul he could reach -- telling his story, he thought, was the most impactful way. No small talk. He had his own problems. Her drug use. Imagine, he says, being in the shower and dropping a bar of soap. She picked up and was told she was the emergency contact for Drew Robinson. In the nightstand that once held his gun, Drew keeps a small jewelry box with a keepsake inside. Daiana, Renee, Darryl, Britney and Chad came to visit Arizona on April 16 and brought with them a multitude of gifts. It breaks my heart because I know how awful of a feeling it was. People named Diana Anguelova. He asked to get back together. Drew proposed to Daiana shortly after he joined the St Louis Cardinals in December 2018. She would pull out her phone and send Drew a text -- simple messages, like what she did that day, how the dogs were. "I'm meant to be alive, Chad. She reached out to Drews closest family and pals, asking them to send a video of anything they would like to say to Drew. Drew proposed to Daiana shortly after he joined the St Louis Cardinals in December 2018. Had Drew and Chad spoken more, Drew would have known how pro ball worked -- how its physical elements paled compared with its mental toll. Daiana volunteered. When he moved, pieces of his face shifted. Britney stayed with Renee. Here's how WBC offenses stack up with MLB's best, 7 Cubs combine for 1st spring no-no since 2017, Scherzer tries to test pitch clock limits, gets balk, Jays 'playing it safe' after Guerrero tweaks knee, PitchCom-tipping: Loud device leaks Twins calls, Eflin's first start after $40M deal impresses Rays, Rangers' Leclerc to miss WBC with neck injury, Rockies' Rodgers may need surgery, '23 at risk. That their shared experiences mattered. "I had my first passive suicidal thought, which really scared me: 'I wish I was successful. Drew hammered it over the center-field fence. While he tried to give to others, Drew didn't skimp on himself. He said they could ask him anything. Born as the youngest of the three children of Renee and Darryl Robinson, he has six years older sister, Britney, and four-and-a-half years older brother, Chad. They reminisced and realized they had played one another at a high school tournament in 2007. July 3, 2022July 3, 2022. importing a car from jersey to the uk florida aquarium husbandry volunteer bulgarian royal family net worth. It's us. He had regained all the muscle he lost last year and showed up imposing and shredded. Nobody wants to hear it. He started to clean the house. He groomed the batter's box with his feet. She used three 0.6-mm-thick titanium plates and 14 1.2-mm self-tapping screws to fashion a new eye socket. "Who the [expletive] is cutting onions in here?" He started to see a therapist. They officially started dating in 2013. 121 posts. How he's still vulnerable. Where would I do it? It devastated him. Who would have to clean. Just that he fumbled over the words and couldn't thank Kapler enough. Drew Robinson started dating girlfriend Daiana Anguelova in 2013. Brundage thought she was good for the team -- that her presence made everyone happier and more fulfilled. The first game at Giants minor league spring camp was April 12. Sometimes he'll remove it from the box, roll it between his index finger and thumb, use it to remind himself where he was and where he is. It's why his suicide attempt surprised everyone who knew him. They grew up in the same environment, struggled the same struggles. Find anyone, even if it's a surface-level conversation. It was earlier, when he and Chad first saw one another. He'd missed them. At 3:51 p.m., police kicked down the front door. The bullet whistled past his left orbital floor and out above his left cheekbone, millimeters from ruining his other eye. Not just for Drew, either. In the fall, Drew asked if he could speak to the Giants' players and staff. They talked for hours. This was his chance. Even they believed the avatar Drew had created: a Major League Baseball player, handsome, charming, funny, with an easy laugh and a big smile. The companion's voice grew louder. Baseball exposed cracks in his facade of stability. '", After surviving a suicide attempt via gunshot wound to the head, Drew Robinson is attempting to return to professional baseball. This one looked like it had a date with the bullpen over the right-field fence. On June 11, UMC Trauma scheduled a fourth surgery, an enucleation -- the removal of Drew's eye. AT JUST PAST 8 p.m. on April 16, Drew looked around, and he was confused. Around 8 a.m., they reached her house. But not here, not now, not when vulnerability is something all of the Robinsons have adopted. According to ESPN, he said:He was asking a mutual friend to sign his yearbook. "Nobody realizes the things that come with it. How it is OK to not be OK. For years, the vagaries of baseball had preyed on Robinson -- the game's inherent failures, the up-and-down nature of a player who never quite got a toehold on a big league roster. Now the ball screaming toward Drew is the latest test, another referendum on whether he belongs here. Here is a brief on the woman who helped the 29-year-old sporting star recover from his severe depression. He gets plenty of sleep, exercises like mad, monitors his nutrition. Drew Robinson's Partner: Wife Diana. He hated that no one knew how much he hated his life.
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